Electric Wellies

Everybody! You know how you're on Facebook, yes? I need a favour. A teeny, tiny favour that will take but four clicks of your mouse finger, and if all goes to plan, will send me to Electric Picnic. I would be most indebted to you all if you would be so kind as to vote for me in a competition on Ye Olde Book of Faces.

Just click HERE and go through the Start My Design and Irish Residents Only pages (because this appears to be a lie, as people outside Ireland have been able to vote) and a Gallery button will be in the top right corner.


For those of you that have already been hounded by me on Facebook, I apologise for flooding Red Lemonade in general and whoring out the blog to meet my own needs with this hustling for votes carry on. I'm probably being silently defriended over it as I type. Anyway, if you've already voted then I thank you most sincerely.

Help me get to Electric Picnic y'all!

Also I'm pretty sure that the guy in second place kicks puppies. Like this one.

And we just can't have that, now can we?

The A-Team Movie They Should Have Made

The new A-Team movie is shite. Sorry. But the good kind of shite, in that I enjoyed its shiteness and was in good form leaving the cinema. Unlike Kick Ass, where the Bear and I were just annoyed afterwards and stomped home angrily to rewatch the new Star Trek so we would have seen at least one good film that day. We had to give up on our game of taking a drink of Coke every time they said "plan" though, or we all would have had to leg it to the bathroom halfway through and might have missed some of the many many montages, terrible lines (for example: "Damn I'd forgotten how beautiful you are" - how Jessica Biel didn't laugh in his face for every take I'll never know) or the bit where Hannibal disguised himself as Liam Neeson.

But I digress. For you see, back when the rumblings and casting choices of an A-Team movie were doing the rounds, a friend of Billy Flag's (whose name I can't remember) told him the best ever possible idea ever in the world ever for an A-Team film. Ever. Gather round.

The film starts with the team (the original cast, mind) being arrested, black-bagged and shipped off to Guantanamo. A montage shows them being tortured, waterboarded and what have you and explains that in the process of all this hardship, Hannibal dies.

The screen fades to black.

20 years later.

Obama comes into power and decides to release the prisoners, so we see the doors to each of their individual cells slide open with a loud metallic bang. They walk out one by one, squinting in the light, hug each other in relief and look sadly at the door of the cell that held Hannibal. However, a fifth door is heard opening. They stop, and look around at the doorway, trying to make out who this fellow prisoner could be. A lone figure stands in the shadows and slowly emerges, one step at a time. The camera pans up to reveal....







......

FUCKING MACGYVER

That's who, bitches.

Now you just try and tell me that's not a film you'd pay good money to see right now.


Exactly.

Ab Fab

I passed one of these new bubblegum pink Absolut ads that seem to have popped up all over the shop lately and noticed down at the end of the photo, the line "A vision from Zooey Deschanel and Ellen von Unwerth" and thought...que? That Barbarella-styled blonde in the 1960s sci-fi outfit is quite clearly not everyone's favourite ridiculously beautiful cool girl Zooey. But that, in fact, turns out to be the case. I quite like the look of the whole thing, although I'm not convinced that the uberpouty mouth is altogether right. It reminds me ever so slightly of Ducky from The Land Before Time.


She's in another Absolut ad looking more like herself as a blue feathered showgirl-type bird of the sexy variety in a gilded cage, which I'm also rather liking.


It's not just Zooey that's taken to flogging vodka though, as there's a series of ads featuring Kate Beckinsale looking foxy in an Attack of the 50ft Woman style shot, also going blonde-and-therefore-near-unrecognisable in a psychadelic swirly setup and vamping the bejaysus out of it as a ridey Bloody Mary. Hot stuff.

Comrade Kitty

Although it's now August and technically Autumn, this particular month is always regarded as summer, is it not? It is by me. Which makes my latest purchase all the more pre-emptive, it being a coat more suited for winter style weather and general coldness. But whilst wandering around TK to the Maxx and being relieved that it wasn't frantically mobbed, (I can last about four seconds in there when it's busy before I want to start kneecapping folk) I came upon this coat of loveliness in a fetching military green for €50.


I can't wait for winter so I can stalk the streets of Dublin pretending to be a Russian spy. Keeping with the Soviet theme, I came upon this t-shirt in Penneys for a fiver (a FIVER like, Jaysus I love Penneys) which cheekily rips off Alexander Rodchenko's Shout poster.

Now where did I put those night vision goggles...

Table Top Hotties

Since we got our sexy table, the Bear and I have had to balance our cups o'tay on various old issues of Style magazine or whatever else came to hand, to avoid the heat from the mugs messing with its lacquered surface. So when we came upon these cheeky pin-up girl tiles at a market in Amsterdam, they seemed like the perfect method of not melting Greta Garbo's face with tea. Success!


At the same market we also picked up this 1950s style table lighter for a scandalous €2. You're welcome, sexy table!