Saturday, December 26, 2009

Thanks dudes (yer very good!)

hello campers! so another year draws to a close and we just want to say a big thank you to you for staying with us and reading our ramblings on the wonderful world of random thought! hope you'll stick with us in 2010 and bring your friends too we love new people!

i'm off to the sun til the middle of January Kitty will be around though so drop by for tea and a bun and some red lemonade!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Buddy the elf, what's your favourite colour?

The gospel according Facebook has designated today as "Answer the phone like Buddy the Elf" day, which is all lovely and silly and Christmassy and soon someone's BOUND to ring me, right? I've been trying to feel Christmassy over the last while, I really have, but it seems to come in bursts and then work goes and ruins it all. I was starting to think that the powers that be in work may not actually be that bad, but I've since put it down to Stockholm Syndrome. Especially since I found out that we're most likely not finishing until 5 next Wednesday, while the boys in the printing room downstairs get to sneak off to the pub around 3. Something like that is inevitably going to kick any potential Christmas feeling right in the balls. And yet Christmas FM playing Stop the Cavalry and the Bing Crosby version of Jingle Bells on Tuesday evening had me bouncing and grinning on the Number 15 bus home like a ridiculously happy lunatic.


But the real super turbo Christmas feeling doesn't arrive until Christmas Eve. Every year, without fail, after the obligatory mass attendance, everyone in my Dad's family - aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin's babies and what have you - arrives at my Grandad's house for a feed of little triangular ham sandwiches and Tanora.

Oh Tanora. Surely the drink of the Gods. If the gods were from Cork, like. Tanora (which is normally only sold in Co. Cork) is something of a Christmas tradition for this particular side of the family. When my Dad was little, the only time of the year that fizzy drinks were in their house was Christmas, and his mother being from Cork, that drink was Tanora. A particular Centra at home buys in Tanora at this time of year specifically for some of my uncles who live close by, and we've been known to stop in Youghal to pick up 15 two litre bottles and a few pallets of cans of tangerine awesomeness to stock up for the festive season. When I came back to Dublin after Christmas last year to spend the remaining holidays with the Bear, I happened upon cans of Tanora in the Glasnevin Tesco and excitedly texted my Dad a photo of them. My enthusiasm for this carbonated tangerine flavoured drink is frankly ridiculous.

During my second year of college in Cork, a 500ml bottle of it was brought out. It was a good day. When Tcup and another friend of mine tasted this most revered beverage, at my behest, for the first time, they took a drink and said: "It just tastes like Fanta." Heathens. Well to me and all my cousins it tastes like muthafuckin' Christmas time.

BRING.

IT.

ON.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Drool....


Now why didn't I think of that! More

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Istock Image Of The Day



T'other blog has been updated see what ye think guys!
istockimageoftheday

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

All That Jazz

"A 1920s-themed Christmas tree decoration party, eh?"

Is what I said to myself when the Bear took it upon himself to invite me to his friend's house party this Friday. While the craic is indeed bound to be mighty, what the flip am I supposed to wear to it? Especially since we'll be at yet another Dead Flags gig in Whelans beforehand. Yes, they're THAT GOOD. GO TO IT. (Upstairs at 8, a mere tenner in, you do the math...ok there's actually no math, don't worry. It was a trick.)

So back to my problem. While it would be a MINIMUM of twelve kinds of amazing to show up at Whelans looking like 1920s superfreak Theda Bara, before skipping off partywards into the night, with a bottle of rum in my vampy hand, it's unfortunately more than a little unlikely. Plus, it's rather chilly out to only be wearing snake shaped boob jewellery. And skipping would inevitably lead to various wardrobe malfunctions of the tits-falling-out variety. As it were.

Theda's got a bone to pick with you, bitch.

However, the most probable outcome will possibly be me in whatever I'd normally wear (unless I raid TCup and Mazatron's respective wardrobes and find that one of them has been harbouring a Velma Kelly costume all this time...) and a Penney's headband with a few stray seagull feathers jammed into it. Maybe not seagull actually, maybe a magic bird like this one will be somehow trapped in the back garden when I get home.


I'll go ask him why he's upside down and help him regain his freedom, all the while surreptitiously pilfering some of his feathers. He might get narky about it if he catches me but I'll explain my predicament and he'll understand and decide not to peck me in the eye.

Oh and I also have to bring a Christmas tree decoration. Hence the mouthful of a party title.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Place Your Bets


Henry's handling balls, Tiger's been sinking them where he shouldn't (and other such ball-related jokes), so what's going to go horribly and publicly wrong for Federer?

Monday, December 07, 2009

We started a new blog with our buddies


Check it out it's istockoftheday and it does exactly what it says on the tin! Have a look see what ye think!

Perfume Ads checklist


Well it's that time of year again where all the ads on the telly are trying to get your attention and get you into the siopa buying their wares! And even as I write this with the telly on in the back ground one or two or a million perfume ads have popped up. These ads must have a check list surely. They are pretty much all the same. Can you imagine the advertising studio when they are coming with the 'concepts'.

Advertising Genius; right so peeps can we loike go thru the checklist just to see do we have everything, ya?
Minions; ya sure roight so um the checklist

AG; Roight here we go! Moody male actor dressed in black or nothing at all/Female actress slash model prancing around like a mad wan
Minions; mmmm check

AG; Well known song but with an airy light filter effect, ya?
Minions; check

AG; The ad was done in Black and white for male / colour for a female, ya?
Minions; check

AG; Male Voiceover with an ability to say the title in a french accent?
Minions; check

AG; Ya fab lets do it!


(p.s. does anyone else have violent urges towards sienna miller when they see her head pop up in that gucci ad? no? anyone? just me then)

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Sweet Jesus...

this man is a ride!



Slurp!

Dear Santa first things first i want...

...these heels.


drool!
Available at Office

And here's why, this Thursday is mine and Kitty's first Chrimbo party for this festive season. The Fashion Bloggers' Brunch - Nov/Dec Bumper Christmas Issue if you will. Now I feel a little of a fraud of late as I have neglected the fashion side of this blog, even though I have splurged on one or two new items in recent times, most notable a fab red velvet vintage jacket that I bought for a song in London! (maybe I'll wear that on Thursday?) So anyway back to the brunch I'm looking forward to it, only problem is what the fudge do I wear? It starts at 6pm and I'll only be in the door from work and still in my smelly work clothes. So I've been thinking I'll have to up the stakes on Thursday in the wardrobe department at work so I can head straight there. I don't wear suits or pencil skirts to the office I usually end up wearing a pair of jeans and a hoody, now a fabulous pair of jeans and a fab hoody it most be noted, but still it's forest casual out the door. So Thursday might see me tottering into work with something a little bit more urban casual (I'm making this up as i go along) than forest! If you catch my drift, Santa?

I think Santa the rest is up to you! You have my address.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

He's Going To Be A Time Traveller

I think we can all agree (since I'm assuming that everyone watched the Late Late Toy Show. You all did, right?) that the absolute highlight of the entire show, the one who rose above all the overacheiving Billy Barry Brats, the precocious posh kids, the weird culchie child and even outshone the appearance of John and Edward, (despite one of them splitting their pants and saying "oh shit" on live national telly on the biggest kids TV event of the year) was the fantastically articulate, the amazing...John Joe.

The tweed suit, the eccentric mannerisms, the love of clocks...I had never even heard of horology until John Joe and he completely stole the show. Right this minute I'm watching the repeat to catch him again. Especially the part where the conversation moved on to Harry Potter and deadly little John Joe was too immersed in examining a clock that needs fixing to care what else might be going on.



Awesome.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Letter of Complaint

Dear Fuckface ( aka People I Work For)

Oh, I'm ever so sorry, you see when I took on this job with the assurance that I would be paid the same, if not more (Wow! How fortune has favoured me! Thought I.) as my last job, which was in an actual design studio with nice colourful mugs and work I quite enjoyed doing, I foolishly thought that this would in fact, be the case. I mean I really should have realised that what you actually meant was "we're paying you less than that, we thought you knew though, so either take it or go fuck yourself".

I can also see now that it's really an inspired money saving technique to equip the design studio with computers that were bought back when the Ketchup Song was in the charts and Nickelback just had their first big hit, which would make them SEVEN YEARS old, oh and the software hasn't been updated in three or four years you say? Fantastic! That's just the kind of challenge I so look forward to, nothing makes me happier than a computer that's so slow it makes me want to peel off my eyelids, or a printer that spits out pages with the artwork going sideways for no good reason, not to mention when my computer randomly dies or takes ten minutes to open a bigger-than-average file in Photoshop, that kind of thing just makes me feel so alive, y'know?

Just as a suggestion, you might want to give new employees this handy guide on their first day in their shiny new job, explaining what certain phrases or instructions really mean.

We say:
We want to give this product a new look, move away from the old identity.

We mean:

Make it look the same as the old one, but more obnoxious and garish.

We say:
Yeah, that looks great now.

We mean:
I'll be back in half an hour to get you to change everything while I stand over your shoulder and instruct you to move and resize things in a manner that will make you want to unzip your boot and beat me around the head with it.

We say:
You'll be getting a pay review in four months.

We mean:
You'll be getting a pay review in six months.

We say:
Next time, make sure you get a full brief from us.

We mean:
Next time, don't bother trying to make it look well designed and thought out, just make everything bright red and twice the size it should be. Like how a flyer would look if it was shouting in your face, knocking things over and banging cymbals together. Visually, like.

Thank fuck the Toy Show is on tonight.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Last Station



I just saw this trailer on t'internet and the love interest, Kerry Condon is from my neck of the woods. She was a year above me in school, and knows the sister. Cool. You might also recognise her as the waitress Colin Farrell punches in the opening scene of 'Intermission'.

Is It Just Me...

But this has been bugging me for a while now, this 'divide' between people in a relationship and those who are young free and single. I think it’s safe to say the birth of the divide was Bridget Jones, whose fumbling through life as a single woman in London made us all smile and cheer and proclaim ‘finally’ it’s ok to be single! This has been said before a million times but she really did say what we were all thinking and even though I was only in school when the book came out first, my insecurities were pretty much the same as hers. Fear of looking like an ejit of never having a boyfriend of not being liked by my peers and in constant battle with the bulge. She really was our heroine. But wait hang on a minute didn’t Bridget get the guy in the end? So by process of elimination, wasn’t she now on the other side? Wasn't she now part of a smug couple? Of course not sure they broke up in the second book and all her insecurities came flooding back. Phew! She’s still our heroine! Singles one couples nil.

I was reading ‘U’ magazine last night and there is an article in it about this very topic but I got the feeling that the girl who wrote it is single, she was trying to see things from both sides but to me it didn’t come across like that. And you know that’s fine whatever floats your boat. But since when did it become a bad thing to be in a relationship. Where in between the publication of ‘Bridget Jones’ and the article in this month’s ‘U’ did you become smug having a partner? I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 7 plus years and I’m very happy, I don’t think I’m smug and I don’t see why I have to feel that it’s almost wrong as a modern women to have a boyfriend and the fact that I want to settle down before I’m thirty is in someway dragging women back to pre suffragette times. I really don’t get it. What exactly is wrong with having a boyfriend and being happy about it? Isn’t it better off now that we can have the career and the independence and be in love at the same time. Or is that just asking for too much. Can we really have it all? (Oh how very Carrie of me)

Now don’t get me wrong I know a few couples myself who might seem smug about their relationship to those on the outside. I know of one girl who feels the need to ring her boyfriend during a night out to tell him how it’s going? Now from a single girls point of view seeing her do that would probably annoy the hell out of you and you might think why does she have to ring him Jesus can she spend one night out without him. But then I can see it from her point of view in that she probably just wants to hear his voice and share her good night out with him I don’t think she does it to show all her single friends that she has a boyfriend in fact I’m sure of it. I wouldn’t do it but she does so just get over it.

Another thing in the article was these 5 points about why you’re better off being single or in a relationship. Apparently when your single you don’t have to feel guilty about spending your grocery shopping in BT’s and that you don’t have to worry about not cleaning up after yourself. You don’t have to worry about not cleaning up after yourself? For fucks sake in any house whether you’re living with your partner living with your mates or living at home. I would hope if you were a dirty bitch someone would tell you to clean the table or wash your dishes anyway, right?

The other myth that annoys me is that married people have also in someway dumbed down after marrying. For example in the article the reporter was going to interview someone for another article, a man, and was looking forward to it. When she told her married friend about her excitement her married friend proclaimed ‘but he’s married!’ So all women in relationships think that single women are predators? And that we should watch our men when they are around? Sure God love them it’s not their fault they swayed when a woman flings herself at him why wouldn’t he? Grr.

Anyway I just wanted to say that having a boyfriend does not a bad modern independent woman make. I have dreams and I want my career to take off and my dreams include wanting to marry my fella and have his babies and build a house. So why does that make me smug? I dont look down on any of my single friends why would I what's the point!
Rant Over

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Michael Caine Vs Horrible Skangers


Last night, the Bear and I decided on an impromptu cinema date, "sure we'll just show up and see what's starting around then" said I. Staring up at Cineworld's film listings, nothing was jumping out at us. 2012? No interest in seeing it. Jennifer's Body? I'm curious alright but not enough to risk a tenner. An Education? Bleh. Harry Brown? What's that? I don't believe I've heard of that one. A quick scan through the synopsis sorted it. We were both sold at the very mention of the word "vigilante". Sure who doesn't love a good vigilante, ass whooping, revenge movie? Taken, Payback, Death Wish, ALL SAVAGE.

This one is too, it's a bit like Gran Torino with a Landaaan accent and it's deadly. Everyone loves Michael Caine sure!

WINNER. SEE IT.

***

On a completely unrelated note, myself and Lady Tcup are reviewing that pinnacle of televisual reality, I'm A Celebrity Give Me A Job, over on Culch.ie

Do drop by!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Valley Girls

So it appears that one Diablo Cody is set to make a Sweet Valley High movie. Internet folk seem to be divided in opinion that this will either be amazing and clever and a 1980s-set Clueless, or that it's going to be a complete disaster and travesty, quoting the fact that Jennifer's Body made all of $40 (give or take) Stateside as a reason. I for one am in the excited-and-think-it-could-be-awesome camp. I haven't seen Jennifer's Body, but I've read the woeful reviews it's gotten and reckon I'll give it a shot when it's out on DVD. Or download, if I'm to be honest. And I am, see? It might even be a pleasant surprise since terrible reviews tend to remove any expectations you have for a film so that if it makes you laugh even once you'll think, "Hey that was pretty good, actually!". Such was the case for me with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull anyway. Despite Shia LaFuckface.


I really like Diablo Cody's writing style, I loved Juno (like everyone else in the world, pretty much) and her book Candy Girl, about her year spent as a stripper. So all this coupled with Sweet Valley High? Yes muthafuckin' please!

Growing up, I loved the Sweet Valley Twins series, and graduated to the High School books at the wise old age of whatever I was in 6th class or thereabouts. Ah, Jessica and Elizabeth, the supermodel-hot twins with eyes the colour of the Pacific ocean. Every time, the books would start with lengthy descriptions of the girls and their "long tanned legs", "peaches and cream complexions" and always with the eyes the colour of the flipping Pacific ocean, Alright, they're sexy, we get it! And Lila Fowler, remember her? What a bitch!

Just look at the big delicious Eighties heads on them.
I think someone needs to tell Jessica that Bill is more likely to break
HER heart when he reveals that he prefers to have sex with men.

Fantastic story lines though. The first great one that comes to mind is one that ran for a couple of books about some mentalist called Margo who just so happened to look EXACTLY like the twins, and had a nefarious scheme to KILL ELIZABETH AND REPLACE HER! The diabolical bint! Thrilling stuff it was. And perfectly realistic too. After a quick Googling it turns out that this was far from the only outlandish plot line in the series, oh no. There were elements such as:

* The twins battling a werewolf in London. Could happen.

* Jessica falling in love with a vampire. My, how very Twilight!

* The twins and friends being chased by escaped criminals in Death Valley.

* A former classmate of their mother Alice's luring them to a beauty spa with the intention of stealing Alice's face via a face transplant. WOW! I did NOT come across this one in the local library at the time. I'll bet it was before Face/Off and everything.

* Elizabeth receiving at least three marriage proposals before age 20.

* Jessica having at least five boyfriends who died in the series. She must be riddled. Get checked out, woman!

Christ, Jessica is at it again. The question here really isn't
"Is Jessica as grown up as she thinks she is?",
more like "Is her Freddie Mercury tache-sporting boyfriend
as straight as she thinks he is?"
Answer: No.

So there it is. Any one of those story lines could instantly make a movie. And it appears that some already have, albeit with different characters and settings and whatnot. So bring it on Miss Cody, I think it could be great.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Flag Fever

You may realise that I tend to plug a certain band called The Dead Flags here quite a bit. And look! Uh oh! She's at it again! In fairness though, their new single "Anymore" has thus far been played by Alison Curtis, Larry Gogan and even the DJ of all DJs, the one and only Tony Fentony himself. Impressive, no? So I suggest that all you lovely sexy people do the following...

Watch the video!



Download the single!

(In here!)

Feel bad for this sad little kitten for having a smushed up face!



I strongly recommend the first two, the third is up to you but you'd have to be pretty heartless not to. But hey! Heartless fans are fans nonetheless so help out a deadly band of proper daycent lads and get this song stuck in your head.

Your brain will thank you for it.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Not So Slinky Cat

Oh mo Dhia. What have I gone and done? Signed up for the Agent Lynch Burlesque workshop on the 21st, the day of the next Burlesque Ball, is what. At the Halloween Rocky Horror Show in the Sugar Club, the Bear and I were watching the supafine Miss Dotty Potts do her thing and I drunkenly thought aloud "I'd love to give that a go". And so the Bear convinced me to attend the very workshop I have now committed to. (That's right Bear, I'm blaming you.) Whilst reading up on the foxy lady in charge, I came upon the dress code:

Wear your most sparkly dancing heels, your slinkiest dress or skirt and the best pout and raised eyebrow you can muster!

Oh Jesus.

I own two pairs of heels, neither of which are remotely sparkly.

I don't believe I have a slinky dress. Also, slinky? I don't so much slink as I stumble into things. I'm doing well to get through a doorway without bumping into the frame.

I don't pout and I can't raise one eyebrow, despite my best attempts. I've always been ferociously jealous of anyone who can. (I made the mistake of telling this to a group of the Bear's mates one night, ALL of whom instantly raised one smug eyebrow at me. Bastards.)

Agent Lynch. On some sort of mission or other, presumably.

So I have no idea what to wear, what to expect, and a sneaking suspicion that I may very well trip over and land on my non eyebrow-raising face in the middle of the Goldfinger burlesque routine that we'll be taught.

But despite all that, I'm looking forward to it in a nervous kind of way. I've been utterly in love with the idea of burlesque for years now and just can't get enough of it, so hopefully if it all goes well I'll love it even more. Or I'll be a total disaster but still appreciate and swoon over it from the sidelines.

By the way, anyone else going? It'd be nice and a little less terrifying to know someone there!

Eep.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Up For Grabs



Intimate, an exceptional collection of artwork created by world renowned British photographer, Terry O’Neill.

The exhibition will be devoted to O’Neill’s incredible archive of film stars, musicians and sports personalities. Each with their own singular distinctive style, O’Neill’s artwork captures celebrities in a setting never seen before, taking the audience Behind The Scenes.

It's on tuesday the 24th of November in the Kildare Village
If any one wants it let me know!!! you can bring a friend!

All you needed to know about...

Underwear!!



Interesting underwear facts:
*Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.

*40% prefer Briefs, 25% prefer Boxer Briefs, 18% prefer Boxers, 10% prefer Boxers and 5% prefer thongs. come again, thongs??

*In 1935, the first men's briefs appeared. They had a Y-shaped front and overlapping fly. They were originally termed 'jockeys' because they offered a similar amount of support as jock straps.

*In 1925, Jacob Golomb, founder of Everlast, designed elastic-waist trunks to replace the leather-belted trunks then worn by boxers. They became known as 'boxer trunks' and were the original prototype for the modern men's boxers. eww sweaty leather!

*During the 1930s, companies began selling buttonless drawers fitted with an elastic waistband, which were the first true boxer shorts. The name is derived from the shorts worn by professional fighters.

*The loincloth is both the simplest and the most popular form of underwear. It was probably the first undergarment worn by human beings. eh? Do they sell loinclothes in BT's ?


who knew!

These facts also coincide with Brown Thomas running a Calvin Klein Men’s Underwear Promotion, The Ultimate Package, from today until Sunday 22nd November. Receive a complimentary pair when you purchase two pairs from the Calvin Klein men’s underwear collection in Brown Thomas and BT2 Grafton Street.

Free Vodka?


Absolutly... see what i did there?

Did the title get your attention? It's not everyday you get offered a free bottle of vodka let alone a really cool ABSOLUT bottle this is what happen to me last week.

Rachel Garvey Conway Communications Hi there. We do some work with ABSOLUT and they want to send you a little something along with an invite to a very cool upcoming party….

Red Lemonade What will you be sending us? It's just we're both at work so i'm wondering if the 'little something' will fit through are letter box at our house?

RG It’s the new limited edition ABSOLUT ROCK EDITION vodka so it is a bottle.

RL That's cool can it be delivered today before twelve if possible!?

RG Apologies, I spent all of yesterday in meetings so didn’t get your message until last night. I could send it out to you today if you are available, or Monday if that suits better?

RL Hey rachel we keep missing eachother! Yea monday is fine i won't be in the office myself but there'll be someone there to get it. Thanks again!

RG The courier will drop it to the office shortly.

RL received that bottle thanks rachel!!!


So a big thanks to Rachel and ABSOLUT for the bottle and the invite to the swanky party that was held in The Sugar Club. Which I have to say is a really cool venue.

Anyhu anyone else want to send me free drink feel free!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Offset 2009

Last weekend myself and my two friends Mazatron and N.dazzler heading to the inaugural Offset. What can I saw it was brilliant really well organised and plenty of big named speakers there to give the show a well deserved ovation.

The best of the best would have to be Massimo Vignelli and Harry Pearce of Pentagram on Saturday afternoon. I had never heard either speak before so I would of assumed that they were both corporate men, bit like 'Mad Men', as when you see them first they really do have this presence that for want of a better word overwhelms you however approachable.

Vignelli went from 1955 right up to present day showing all their designs from spoons to churches! He made the best comment about marketeers pretty much not knowing what they're talking about and that got an impromptu round of applause. He has a lovely smile and his basic message was don't follow trends and how one uses light is the key as it's the master of all. He said an Architect should be able to design from a spoon to a city. Which I liked. He was also responsible for the design of New York subway signage including the map. I have a bit of a thing for the London underground and I was aware that most of other Undergrounds are based on London's so seeing Vignelli's subway map made me swoon!
His partner/wife Leila also gave a talk on her work her jewellery is beautiful I can see where newbridge are getting their ideas!


Vignelli

Harry Pearce was just lovely really lovely. He came on stage a bit dishevelled looking dressed all in black with a pair of trainers He began by talking about 'LipaPearce' his own company with his friend Dominic Lippa right up to their work in Pentagram. He showed us that as a designer you should break everything down to it's simplest forms and that it's all about the message and the idea. He was great friends with Alan Fletcher and you can see that he misses the genius a lot. I think that he is most proud of his work for charity. His poster for 'Burma' was used as a symbol of Burma's plight throughout all the protests and was seen on news channels through the world.


Harry pearce

Anything I say here does not do justice to the weekend. There was so many other designers there that just made me fall in love all over again with my craft, as to be honest I was feeling a wee bit meh about it. I'm back at work now knowing I prob will have to wait a while before I can stop 'designing' pregnancy forms and start changing the world but I know I can, which is a start. I'm about to tip over I'm just full of Ideas!

Some other people giving talks that I enjoyed were David Shrigley, SHOWstudio.com, Oliver Jeffreys, Studio AAD, Experimental Jetset, Anthony Burell.

Oh I also learned that 'Helvetica' is the man!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Mind the Gap

It’s all been a bit quiet here in Lemonade Land, has it not? In case anyone was wondering, this is partly because I’ve gone and gotten myself a JOB. Imagine that! As soon as I did get it however, I promptly took two days off to go swanning around London with the Bear for an extra long long weekend, as you do. I got a brilliant picture of a squirrel, ate my body weight in Krispy Kreme doughnuts and had pistachio shells thrown at me by a rival table because our team were slightly cheating at a pub quiz. Douchebags. Also I got stung by Ryanair for €35 on the way over because my suitcase was an inch too big to fit into their poxy hand luggage frame. But more of that later. For now, it’s procrastination time in work already, and I’m googling Rocky Horror outfits in preparation for the Halloween show in Das Sugar Club tomorrow night.

Oh it’s on.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Offset and Anthony Burril



I got this email this morning, Now I usually ignore such emails as they are often just spam mails or some PR company wanted us to mention some crap but I looked the guy up and have to say I really like his work. So take a wee look!

BT2 are getting involved with Off Set - http://www.iloveoffset.com.

One of the creative talkers Anthony Burrill has designed a range of exclusive menswear t-shirts that will be sold exclusively in BT2 Grafton Street from next Monday 26th October to 9th November.

Anthony Burriell is a UK creative and has showcased his creations in Colette in Paris, Tate Modern and also has a huge fan base across the world.

In addition to the BT2 T-shirts (image attached) he has designed a window wrap that will grace the windows of BT2 Grafton Street for two weeks.

I would really appreciate if you could mention on your blog! Check out his website and the Off Set program it is really cool!

BIOG on Anthony Burrill
Anthony Burrill is an independent designer and illustrator who works in a broad range of activities, including print, film and internet. After studying Graphic Design at Leeds Polytechnic he completed an MA in Graphic Design at the Royal College of Art, London. Where he created his now trademark technique for direct communication.

Anthony's uncomplicated style stems from his appreciation for simplicity, which was formed in his early handcrafted photocopy books. He has designed advertising campaigns for London Underground, DIESEL, Nike, Bupa amongst others, including the cult Hans Brinker Budget Hotel campaign. He has also produced web-based projects for bands such as Kraftwerk and Air, murals for Bloomberg, Priestman Goode and recently designed the identity for Kessel Kramer's inaugural London base - KK OUTLET.

Anthony recently held two exhibitions, The Right Kind of Wrong at The Biscuit Building, London in collaboration with Michael Marriott, and Geometry in Nature at Colette in Paris.

More at www.anthonyburrill.com

Friday, October 16, 2009

Happy Birthday She Wrote

Angela Lansbury, lovely wily old Jessica Fletcher, who kept me company in my unemployment till The Infernal Afternoon Show returned is 84 today! And just look at what a little knockout she was. Hottie!

Schwing!

And in honour of the lady herself, here are some things I didn't know about her:

* Her son was a follower of none other than Charles Manson's gang. After the Sharon Tate murders, she moved the family to Cork to help him kick his drug problems. Cork! I went to college in Cork, we could have been friends Angela! I could have been your clumsy-but-lovable Murder She Wrote sidekick, it would have been great!

* She holds the record for the most Emmy nominations without a single win, she has been nominated twelve times (Twelve like! Count 'em!) for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series and NEVER won. The thieving bastards.

* She was offered the role of Nurse Ratchet in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest but turned it down because she didn't think she could handle the role. Silly buttons. There's nothing that Jessica Fletcher can't handle.

* When MGM took her on they wanted her to change her name to Angela Marlowe but she refused. Yeah! Nobody tells Jessica what to do!

* She was considered for the role of Miss Caswell in All About Eve, but Marilyn Monroe was cast in the part instead. Flipping Marilyn stealing Jessica B. Fletcher's roles. Wagon.

Schwing schwing!!
(I watched Wayne's World 2 earlier this week. Can you tell?)


Happy birthday Jessica B!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Talkative Bob

Tonight, at about 8.30 I'll be squeaking excitedly next to the Bear in a Block F seat in Vicar Street. You see, KEVIN SMITH will be arriving onstage right about then, and I'll be doing all that I can not to abseil down to the stage and hug the bejaysus out of him. He scores rather highly on my List Of People I Want To Hug, as do Justin Lee Collins, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen (more so when he was beardy and cuddly though, circa Knocked Up. He's slipped down the list somewhat in the last while) and Matt Berry.

Needless to say, I cannae fecking wait.

I saw this YouChoob clip over on Ray Foley's blog quite some time ago and laughed my ass off. Now, it IS almost twenty minutes long and those of you (like me) with short attention spans are quite possibly thinking "No flipping chance missus, i'd rather...ooh something shiny!". BUT, trust me, it's worth watching. Well, it's certainly worth watching if you like Kevin Smith as much as I do and it is a pretty funny story. So just click play and whisht up down the back there.



And then watch this and be all conflicted and amused if you like Tim Burton as much as Kevin Smith. Which I do.



I'm going to see Silent Bob! HOORAY!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Darkness Falls Across The Land

Last Thursday, the Bear and I got in the mood for playing our part in the South William Street Death Mob by going to see Zombieland. When I did a search for it in Google Images just now, I'd gotten as far as typing "zombie" when the helpful suggesty list popped up, top of which was...

Zombie Jesus eh? Sure you'd have to have a look wouldn't you? It turns out that some corners of the Internet have renamed Easter "Zombie Jesus Day", what with the whole rising from the dead, eat my flesh, drink my blood dealy. Which is pretty flipping funny as far as I'm concerned.

NOM NOM NOM

You may have also noticed that number five on the list was "zombie stripers". I can only assume that the people feverishly conducting searches for pictures of sexy, undead pole dancers with a taste for brains are terrible at spelling. However, it does bring me back to what the point of this post was supposed to be and that is how FUCKING AWESOME Zombieland is. (Even the Times Culture Magazine liked it, and they usually hate everything.) You see, the opening credits happen to feature a zombie stripper chasing a patron out of the club, zombie tits and nipple tassles bouncing in slow motion as part of the hilarious and scary title sequence. It's Shaun of the Dead but all flashy-like, in America, with Woody Harrelson as a pure rockstar at killing zombies (maybe he is in real life too. I kind of hope so). He's a superhero when he gets going, like Wolverine or Liam Neeson in Taken. Badass and brilliant. And it's also got some really helpful rules of survival for when the zombie apocalypse does strike.


I'm completely and utterly TERRIFIED of zombies. Especially when they run fast, the bastards, which in this film they do. And yet I find myself watching zombie movies regardless of this fact. Thriller near traumatised me as a child, but I used to watch a documentary video about the making of it all the time with my brother when I was little. I'm really properly scared of them but end up watching things with them in it nonetheless. Oh and I got really excited when I saw this book in the window of Chapters. But back to Zombieland! If I could just stay on the point. It frightened the bejesus out of me, to the extent that I had to hand the popcorn over to the Bear or it was going to end up on the floor since I was jumping and flinching so much. There were bits of it I had to watch through my fringe, especially when my fear of zombies and being chased by fast zombies was there on screen in front of me. Like this:

AAAHHHHHHHH!


Even looking at this picture is making me all nervous and uneasy. But go see Zombieland, its hilarious and scary and clever and really very very gory. But they're zombies so it's ok and quite funny when they get flattened by pianos and lamped by fairground rides. Cos they're not real, right?

RIGHT?

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Secret Cinemas and Saucy Rhyming

Ah unemployment. It does have it's benefits you know, and not just the Job Seekers variety. It also means that I can attend cinema screenings at 3.30 in the day, which is precisely what I did yesterday (thanks to Monsieur Doyle). The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus was being shown in a little cinema I'd never heard of, down a lane I'd never seen and behind a door you wouldn't even notice. Very Secret Squirrel.

Anyway, I thought the film was great. It's weird and trippy and gorgeous and funny and dark and pretty much what you would expect from Terry Gilliam. Lily Cole stole the show for me as sexy, tinkling (statutory!) Valentina. Her face is bloody fascinating and she looked fantastic in everything she wore (and didn't wear) onscreen.


Tom Waits is super slick as the devil and the boys popping up to replace Heath works seamlessly into the story. I thought it was deadly but I know some people won't like it at all. Not least because I heard someone behind me at the end of the screening whisper "that was shit". But he probably kicks puppies for fun, so don't listen to him.


***

On a completely unrelated note, the Bear and I won Maxi Cane's October Filthy Butt Fun competition with our tag team approach and mad rhyming skillz. We're now the proud winners of a €50 voucher to spend as we see fit anseo. Oh the possibilites!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

De Apprentice: this years bitch award goes to...


...this 'wan'

i know it's harsh to judge these people as granted i've never met them nor do i want to tbh, but that AoiFFe wan's attitude would want to seriously change she has to be one of the most unprofessional people ever to appear on the show. Whatever about mocking someone and giving out about them behind the camera to do it in front of the cameras and in front of the nation, knowing the person will see it later on? Aoiffe love cop on.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

What Happens When Graphic Designers Get Married

I saw this over on Blanaid's blog and just had to yoink and repost it. This, ladies and gentlemen is the most gorgeous, amazing, supersweet and damn clever wedding invitation I have ever seen. I'm not quite sure what the hell is going on with me today, but I actually teared up a little at the end. Behold. (Clicky to enlarge, because for some reason it won't just be all big here.)

Glen, Vampires and a Table Quiz

Things that happened.

> Got demented drunk on Arthur's Day, my new favourite pretend occasion. T Cup and I managed to procure tickets to the South William to see David Kitt sing songs in a corner and I tried to give the illusion that I wasn't totally excited that Glen Hansard was drinking right next to us outside Grogans for the remainder of the night.

Hi Glen! No, over here Glen! Gleeennnn!

> Woke up the next morning with an enormous mystery bruise on my elbow of all places and not the faintest idea how it got there.

> Attended the outdoor screening of Nosferatu in Dartmouth Square on Friday night, a live band were playing the music for the film but I couldn't see the Engrish subtitles of the German intertitles what with all the heads in the way. Also, the two reincarnated meerkats in front of me didn't exactly help matters, springing up as they did every twenty seconds to read said subtitles and block my view in the process. If they were real meerkats it probably would have been all cute and endearing but in real life it was just a blonde bird getting in my damn way everytime. The film was quite good and still rather spooky, what with the mad scary head on him and all.


> Managed to soak my phone in cheap French rum (damn you Tico Tico Rhum Brun!) on the way to an outdoor Dead Flags gig in Ranelagh Gardens on Saturday. It's still a bit hungover and threw quite a few tantrums but I *think* it's almost back to normal now. Phew.

> Came 32nd in the Ray Darcy Show All Ireland Table Quiz last night with Team Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze (consisting of mise, T Cup, Miss Dizzle and Mazatron). Met lovely Lottie, ate lots of free wine gums and learned that Frankfort is in fact the state capital of Kentucky.


The end.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

La Fille Kiki

Well so far today I've sent my portfolio, CV and letter about how great I am to about ten design companies, had a scrap with the hoover (don't let Henry's seemingly friendly smile fool you, he's actually an uncooperative asshole) and nearly fell backwards down the stairs while trying to hoover it. It's official. Housework is hazardous to my health. Since I'm clearly in such a productive mood today, I'm actually going to post about another deadly bird from history, the third in my much neglected series of sorts.

This time, it's Kiki de Montparnasse. Which, apart from being the sexy, fun embodiment of doing whatever the flip you like in 1920s Paris, is also the name of a rather saucy knickers and things-to-have-sex-in website that temporarily distracted me from my Googling. They also have the most bloody expensive french maid's outfit I've ever come across. (Oh there's certainly a filthy joke in there somewhere.)

But back to Kiki. She was born as Alice Ernestine Prin, surely a name that just screams "NO CRAIC AT ALL!" and moved to Paris aged twelve to find work, which she did in bakeries and shops and the like. By the time she was fourteen though, the little minx was posing nude for sculptors and soon became Kiki, a regular of the Montparnasse social scene, entertaining nightclub crowds by singing dirty songs and wearing black garters. Pretty soon she was a very popular artist's model across Paris and friends with the likes of Ernest Hemingway, very good friends with Man Ray, who made hundreds of portraits of her and she appeared in nine short experimental films. One of Man Ray's most iconic images, Le Violin d'Ingres is actually of her.


Kiki was also a painter and had a sold out exhibition in a Paris gallery, wrote her autobiography at the age of 28, with Hemingway providing the introduction, a year later it was translated and published in America, immediately banned by the squares in the US Government and remained so up to the late seventies. She was called the Queen of Montparnasse and was renowned for being mighty craic and happily optimistic, even if things went a bit shite, as she famously said "all I need is an onion, a bit of bread, and a bottle of red and I will always find somebody to offer me that." With her signature flapper girl bob and fun personality she became a symbol for the carefree, bohemian, outspoken and creative attitude of Paris in the 20s and owned her own cabaret in Montparnasse in the 1930s. In 1989, the biographers Billy Klüver and Julie Martin called her "one of the century's first truly independent women."


However, when the bastard Nazis occupied Paris in 1940, she hightailed it out of there and only returned when she sadly died, aged fifty one, to be buried in Montparnasse where her tomb reads "Kiki, 1901-1953, singer, actress, painter, Queen of Montparnasse."

Monday, September 21, 2009

Return Of The Cat

Le grande sigh.

So I'm back from France and back to real life, which of late unfortunately consists of not being sure what day of the week it is, apart from Wednesday Day which means it's off to the Post Office to collect my magnificent sum of 204 euro and something cents for another seven days, lamenting the disappearance of Murder She Wrote from RTE One's daily listings as poor old intrepid Jess has been elbowed out of the way by the Afternoon Show harpies and looking up the job listings on Creative Ireland.

Why Jessica, why?

It was a great old week though, with an insane amount of cheese eaten by all. The wedding was all relaxed and lovely, the priest looked like Steven Spielberg, I (embarrassingly) started crying after my first ever slow dance, The Dress was admired by many and my bag (which was also charity shop-bought, get me!) was LOVED by the assorted aunties. There was also a ridiculous amount of drinking done, an 8k kayaking trip down the river Dronne which I miraculously survived, REALLY cute pigs on the farm our little house was on, the invention of Extreme Ball (you need a swimming pool, a ball and no qualms about dunking people underwater should they be in your way) and many many games of Villagers vs Mafia (if you know this game, you'll know it's difficult to explain but frighteningly good fun to play - we had played it for four hours straight one night without even realising).

I still have to unpack though. I hate unpacking. Maybe first I'll send this tshirt to Montrose marked for the attention of Seoige Junior and Sheana Keane.


That'll show them.

Friday, September 18, 2009

The Obsession With Urban Outfitters Continues...




For €6.99 a vintage reebok top, sure i couldn't leave it behind, tid be a sin, like!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Coldplay



Date; 14th of September '09
Venue; Phoenix Park
Time; 9pm
Revenue; Massive yellow balloons, paper butterflies, free c.d.'s and fire works! Brilliant!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Friday, September 11, 2009

Gîte Alors!

I'm off to France tomorrow with the Bear for a week and not a thing packed as yet. All I know for certain thus far is that The Dress is coming (along with the underskirt that SuperMam kindly fashioned for me with her trusty sewing machine. Hooray!). We're heading to his friends wedding in Montagrier, which is two hours from Bordeaux, about three from La Rochelle and approximately in the middle of nowhere. If one was to Google the area, you would get this:


Hilltop village? Nice! Old church? Charmant! Fantastic viewpoints? Lovely! A bar/restaurant? Just the one then...?

"Yeah we'll meet you in the bar around nine so."

"Which bar?"

"What do you mean which bar? There's only the one sure!"

Brilliant! Even I won't get lost in this place!







Right?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Want

So I've decided i want a few things namely a pair of rayban glasses and an under cut (they're back!)



Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Teddy Bears Picnic





Oh Electric Picnic. Fun despite the freezing cold wind and welly swallowing mud and sideways rain. It went something like this...

- Shouting "He's behind you!" at an unsuspecting onscreen Linsday Lohan during I Know Who Killed Me in the Cinema Tent. Which, by the way is the most awesome terrible movie I've ever seen, it's destined for cult status and should be screened like a panto with designated crowd actions, à la Rocky Horror. The Bear decided it was the second worst Lindsay Lohan movie he's seen, in which she plays a twin of herself.

- A can of cider and muffins for breakfast? Don't mind if I do!

- The Bear taking part in a sack race in the Village Green, and managing to wangle himself a yellow 3rd place rosette, even though he ended up getting a face full of Stradbally mud in the process.

- Bopping my face off in the Crawdaddy tent to the amazing Miss Imelda May while drinking Southern Comfort and apple juice with ginger beer, which incidentally is tasty as fuck.

- Catching a bit of Jape, more so to see the guy in the band who apparently looks EXACTLY like the Bear. He really does, as it happens.

- Spotting Aisling O'Loughlin off Xposé, who then put on a hat and sunglasses after she caught me looking at her. One pint of get over yourself, please.

- Being told by a random guy called Dave (I think) that I reminded him of Florence, she of the Machine, although that was undoubtedly more to do with the fact that I have a fringe and was wearing a glowstick headband and sparkly things on my face at the time. And he may not have been entirely sober.

- Frolicking through the lovely forest to find Tucan playing on the Salty Dog shipwreck stage.

- Realising that 2 Many DJs are in fact AWESOME-O.

- Being delighted with myself for choosing a chicken pie with mash and gravy from PieMinister because if food could taste like a hug, I believe this would be it.

- The Sugarhill Gang playing Billie Jean as a Jacko tribute and saving Rapper's Delight to the end, amazing!

- Being jealous of kids who managed to get a hold of the giant yellow balloons from the Flaming Lips set. Which was fantastic, trippy and superfun.





So...back to real life then. HA! I think not, eloping as I am to France for a week on Saturday with the Bear to attend his friends wedding. Hooray! Suck on that, reality!
 
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